Acquaintance with Akash

সূর্য ( bsurjo03@gmail.com )

Akash, or Aki, as most of the folks used to call him was one of the most peculiar as well as mysterious characters I had seen on the floor. Every Monday he will turn up at office like someone who had been weathering a storm over the weekend. Unkempt hair, unshaven face, sleepy red eyes and a tired look. As the week used to progress and we used to tire under the pressure of our work assignments, Aki used to look fresher and fresher by the day. Come Friday, he was a different person all together. Clean shaved, combed hair, crisply ironed shirt & jeans, looking as fresh as someone going to a Saturday evening party after a good mid day nap. There were many rumors about him. some folks said resting made him tired, coding helps him relax. That’s why he looked more and more relaxed as the week progressed Some folks told that he was an alcoholic, but his roommates didn’t let him drink when they were at home in the weekend. Weekdays he gulped down couple of beers from the pub next to office before going home, and that’s how he looked fresher as the week progressed. Others used to say that he was just a normal human being, whose roommates had girl friends in Chennai, while he didn’t. So he used to be sitting at home all alone without friends in the weekends which used to make him depressed. Being in office with friends over the weekdays used to cheer him up.

He had more anomalies. Unlike the other guys he never puffed a cigarette, neither he drank tea or coffee. During our break hours, he used to drink Horlicks, which made me doubt his credibility of being an alcoholic. Also, he was very popular among the girls in the project, with no apparent reason. He didn’t satisfy any of the traditional criteria required to be popular among girls. He could neither sing nor could he play a guitar. He was neither organized nor neat, moreover he didn't even have a bike. However his popularity amongst girls made us doubt the other myth of him being a loner. There were few other facts we all observed about him. he was a brilliant programmer, and great in debugging issues in other’s codes. He had a great ability to crack jokes and make people laugh in the grimmest of situations. And then, he also had a great ability to criticize and demoralize a person even from the best of their moods. As a new joiner in the project, we were advised by our leads to stay away from his influence as much as possible. We did that to the best of our efforts. Till that eventful evening that is.

I was working on a night shift. And I was supposed to reach office at 10 pm. As I neared the office gate, I saw a figure stumbling towards the office. I recognized him to be Aki. I asked him if he was ok. He promptly said he was not and hurled a volley of invectives at his team lead. Apparently, he told his team lead he was going to a party so leaving early, and his lead somehow assumed he was planning to come back to work after that. So after having a great party with lot of drinks he received a call asking when he was planning to return to office to finish the time sensitive work. “… and that’s how I am back here, trying to get inside the office after 6 peg of whiskeys. And you are asking me if I am ok??” I was alarmed at his condition as he was barely able to walk. He leaned on my shoulder walking towards the office elevator, and I was wondering if it was ok to let him code in an intoxicated state. I coughed up some courage to ask “are you sure you can code?” He gave a curt reply “if I couldn’t code, your production support team wouldn’t be here to monitor my scripts in production”. Seeing he was getting offended, I had to clarify my concern. “I didn’t mean that way Akash Ji. What I meant was you are barely able to stand on your feet. How will you code in this situation?” his reply was “Dude, luckily we have a chairs in my cubicle, so we don’t need to stand on our feet there. And also, I don’t use my feet to code… so you see”. I saw his point. And he, obviously was too drunk to see my point. So without wasting further time and energy, I helped him off to his desk.

Throughout the night I kept monitoring him. Not out of concern or compassion. It was just that was a very good night from production support standpoint. No job failures, or issues or tickets. And the floor was almost empty that night. Just one other production support guy like me, and then Aki at his cube. I had nothing much to do, and an interesting character to observe closely. After couple of hours I saw he was still working, intensely focused on his computer. Knowing that he cant walk at this state, I offered him if he wanted any tea or coffee. He replied “I don’t drink…”and after a pause “ tea, coffee or cold drinks”. I asked “why?” he replied “ not good for health, and you can get addicted easily”. The logic completely bewildered me. a drunk guy talking to me about perils of being addicted to tea/coffee? I had to get this clarified. “ you see dude, life is mostly stressful for something or other. And in our line of work, the stress is even greater. But with this salary it is impossible to get addicted to alcohol. You can afford it only once in a while. But tea/coffee/soda/cigarette are so cheap, you can afford them multiple times a day. So if you look at any of these as a channel to escape your stress, you will be going down the path of addiction.” I was clearly stumped by this logic. He continued “ So if you really want to help your drunk colleague who is barely able to walk, please drop me home in your production support shuttle at the end of your shift. The last thing I need after a sleepless night with 6 pegs whiskey is to bargain with the early morning auto drivers”.

I let him code in peace and went to the cafeteria. Sipping some coffee and reflecting over the events of the past few hours, few things became clear. Firstly, he had a different way of thinking. Even the way he asked for help was very assertive. Might be it was his unique mannerisms and mindset which caused his popularity. And that probably was the main reason our management didn’t want the new recruits to come under his influence. Secondly, it also became clear that being drunk is not any inhibition to do your office work properly. Unless you are a person yet to be enlightened by Aki. As the night was coming to an end and I went for my 3rd coffee, I saw him sleeping peacefully at his desk, with a sticky note saying “my work is done, wake me up when you are going home”. Well, its just the opposite for me I thought. My work just started, I was about to solve the mystery of the most mysterious guy on the floor.  

 Few weeks passed since my first encounter with Akash. He was appreciative of my support that night, and the fact I had dropped him home that night. We had grown good friends by then. He initially started calling me for his coffee-less coffee breaks, and then occasionally to his lunch table as well. Being my senior in the industry by an year, he often gave my advice on technical stuff as well as how to handle some of the team members. As a fresher I found his advices very useful. And finally, one day I got the ultimate offer from him – Saturday lunch at his home. We had heard before that Aki is a good cook, though he used to invite people selectively. A home cooked lunch on Saturday might not sound that great these days, but dear readers, please remember these were early days of the millennium. For an avid non veg eater like me, those days there were very few fine dining options in Adyar region of Chennai,  since most of the high end restaurants used to be maintained vegetarian for the highly placed Brahmins. Unlike northern part of India, eating non veg food was considered impious. So for an avid chicken eater like me, mostly the street food served by hawkers used to be the only source of chicken in my diet.

 Thus, one fine Saturday morning, I found myself wide awake at 7 am itself at the thought of unlimited home cooked chicken. After a moderate breakfast of 2 plates of sambhar vada (I had to ensure that I don’t overeat) at the famous Adyar Tiffin house, I found myself knocking at Aki’s door around 9 am in the morning. I was a great foodie, and I had an aspiration to develop some cooking skills to escape the dependency on “Kamala’s Kitchen”. So I was hoping to see the cooking and pick up few skills for myself. To my surprise, I kept on knocking the door but no one responded. I tried calling Aki on his phone too, but he didn’t pick up. I was about to leave when I saw someone coming up his door. He came up to me and asked “are you Akash’s lunch guest?” I replied “yes I am. My name is Govind.” He introduced himself as Dev Sarkar and remarked that he knew I was a new comer by the fact I was knocking the door. I was puzzled “ what do you mean? How else am I supposed to get in without knocking the door?” Dev gave a broad smile and said “simple, you just open the door” and twisted the door knob. To my surprise it opened. Dev looked at me and explained “ you see, Aki doesn’t want to be disturbed in his Saturday morning’s sleep, so he keeps the door unlocked for the lunch guests”.

I was still puzzled. “isn’t he scared of thieves or burglars?” I thought and stepped inside his apartment. And then my question vanished by itself. The room was enough to scare thieves I thought. Its true I never stayed at a hostel, but I had seen some hostels where my classmates used to stay. Bachelor guys make rooms messy, we all know that. But the spectacle before my eyes was something beyond my imagination. Half a dozen shoes and socks scattered across the floor. Two chopping knives and a peeler as well. Then there were about 2 or maybe 3 skeletons of chickens (leftovers of chicken roast/tandoori I guessed) also scattered across multiple plastic plates on the floor. As I progressed further I noticed dozens of empty liquor bottles also lying around the floor. Treading carefully between the bottles & knives and moving inside, I went past few more trash and empty containers of various things, more knives and peelers on the floor, and finally another bunch of empty liquor bottles. Just resembling like vanquished soldiers at the last line of defense at a battlefield. I looked at the bottles pitifully and gave them an imaginary salute as we finished the hall and entered the kitchen/dining area “may the history remember your bravery, you bottles stood up against one of the greatest alcoholic of all times…”.

Suddenly we saw, amongst all the carnage and chaos, sat a guy, almost in a trance with his back towards us. He was chopping onions, headphones on ear and completely ignorant of our presence. His calmness and focus amidst all the chaos reminded me of the famous Buddhist monk who sat in the battlefield after the Kalinga war, his stature of peace amidst the death and carnage had even moved the mighty emperor Ashoka. Well, this guy didn’t have that much effect on Dev, as he shouted “Kunal…” few times, and finally kicked him to get his attention. Kunal immediately jumped up with the knife in his hand “what the hell? Do I look like a football to you that you can kick me whenever you want?” Dev replied “well, actually you do! Your waistline does look like a football these days”. Kunal wasn’t amused “Why did you have to startle me like this? I could have cut my fingers in shock”. Dev was remorseless “ we were shouting at you since last 5 minutes, and this guy here was knocking the door for an hour. Is it our problem that you cant hear?” Kunal sighed “I was listening to music, it’s due to these earphones… the best in US these days. I asked my onsite coordinator to get it from there. With these on, you cant hear a thing”. Dev looked convinced “fair enough, now go and wake him up…”. Kunal resisted “why me? I was anyway chopping onions and potatoes for last one hour”. Dev again looked irritated “I was standing in long queue at the market for 1 hour and buying this chicken, all under the scorching Chennai sun. And last week I did the waking…”. Kunal seemed resigned to this decision and stepped inside the bedroom as Dev started filling me in.

I had many questions in my mind. Firstly, why such a chaotic condition of the room? Dev explained that Aki had another roommate, who used to keep things better organized, but he was on a vacation to his home town. Also, I learnt, they had a cleaning lady. But she comes only on Sunday evenings, as that is the only time of the week one of these guys are at home. My next question was why so many knives and peelers. Dev explained that Aki loves cooking, but he doesn’t like shopping or chopping vegetables. So every weekend he calls 2-3 friends to help him with buying and chopping the stuff. Since the room is always in such chaotic state on Saturdays, the chopping guy never locates the knives used last time, so they often end up buying new knifes. My last question was why were they hesitant to wake up Aki? I realized they were pushing each other to do it. And then, as if to answer my question, I heard another volley of invectives being hurled from the bedroom. Kunal appeared, with a satisfactory smile on his lips, and more importantly, headphones in ears. “woke him up” he declared triumphantly “and the headphones blocked most of his wake up profanities”.

The rest of the day panned out as expected. Aki soon appeared in his normal cheerful self. He did cook a wonderful lunch for all of us. I ate till I felt my stomach is going to burst. We rested the afternoon, watched movie in his TV and then went for an evening walk in the Besantnagar beach. Soon this became a pattern of my weekends. I used to get a lunch invitation at his place at least once a month. Often Dev & Kunal used to be there. Sometimes it used to be his other buddies. But the pattern used to be similar. We do the shopping and gather at his place, enter the unlocked doors of his chaotic apartment, wake him up from his slumber to get shouted at, and finally get a wonderful home cooked lunch. Aki’s apartment was like a bachelors club. The only apartment (in his group of friends as well as ours) with a TV as well as DVD player. And also there were Chess & playing cards for those who weren't interested in the movies. And it was just 10 minutes walk from the Besantnagar beach, so mostly we used to spend the evenings walking by the sea. Thus I had solved the riddle of Akash. He wasn't an alcoholic who wasn't allowed to drink by his roommates. Neither was he a loner who stayed alone and depressed. Nor he was a workaholic person who relaxed only by coding. He was simply a guy who loved to cook, eat, drink and have fun. Contrary to all the theories, he was just a normal guy who used to conserve his energy for the weekends.